HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
