Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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