There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie