she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
