More tranny stories later!
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
