I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
