Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
