Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
