Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
