Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
