I smell stomach acid.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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