does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
