It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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