ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
