Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
