i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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