You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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