I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you would pick up someone in the library
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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