I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.