she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize