I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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