Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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