She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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