There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
