my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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