S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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