shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When are your genitals available?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
