I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
