I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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