No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
