No awkward lesbian experiences without me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
