He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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