Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
