friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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