whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
