I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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