And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
