On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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