i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
All I want is dick and wine.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize