its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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