New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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