I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.