Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source