hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.