11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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