good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
they're like a gay fantastic four
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
