When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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