Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
