Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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