you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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