Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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