Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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