...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
