But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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