we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
