just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
