last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
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I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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