also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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