i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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