Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
