trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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