i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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